“They don’t see how tired I am” : an exploration of the lived experiences of long COVID in motherhood : a thesis presented in partial fulfilment of the requirements for the degree of Master of Science in Health Psychology at Massey University, New Zealand

Abstract

Long COVID is a newly emergent chronic illness characterised by complex heterogenous symptoms with varying degrees of impact. Long COVID research is evolving, but there is little research that has focused on exploring how long COVID is experienced in specific life stages, including motherhood, particularly from Aotearoa, New Zealand. Motherhood responsibilities do not disappear despite chronic illness and pose challenges to self and the practicalities of parenting as evidenced in research on other illnesses, like fibromyalgia and chronic fatigue. This thesis explored the lived experiences of a small group of New Zealand mothers living with a medical diagnosis of long COVID. Utilising the methodological approach of interpretative phenomenological analysis, this thesis aimed to detail the complex, shared and idiosyncratic ways mothers experience disruptions to their lifestyles and identities while living with this emergent chronic illness. Five themes were identified: An Uncertain Illness with “Invisible” Symptoms; Symptoms Impose Lifestyle Restrictions; Mothering Requires an Adapted Approach; Mothers Experience Pressure to “Push Through” Symptoms; and Changing Identity and Self-Reflection. The debilitating nature of long COVID symptoms imposed functional limitations on the participant’s physical, psychological and social lives. In particular, invisible symptoms and the often-contested nature of long COVID became barriers for social participation and mental wellbeing. The participants often internalised good mothering ideologies which contributed to pressures to push through symptoms instead of attending to self-care. In this way, the dynamic interactions of living with long COVID in motherhood posed additional disruptions to maternal wellbeing. By adding to the limited literature on long COVID, this thesis highlights the physical, emotional and social complexities that mothers face living with this newfound chronic illness.