Embodied self pleasure (ESP) : a qualitative, longitudinal, phenomenological study of sexological bodyworkers’ lived experience of ESP : a thesis presented in partial fulfilment of the requirements for the degree of Master of Arts in Psychology at Massey University, distance, Aotearoa New Zealand

Abstract

Masturbation has been a subject of deep societal tension, marked by centuries of shame and taboos, notably rooted in early Christianity. This study delved into the phenomenon of Embodied Self Pleasure (ESP), a unique fusion of meditation and masturbation that transcends traditional sexual norms and external performance pressures. Eight sexological bodyworkers, all graduates of the Institute of Somatic Sexology, participated in this qualitative and longitudinal study of ESP. Participants were introduced to ESP as part of their training and contributed written accounts detailing their experiences during this period. They also participated in semi-structured interviews conducted eight months after their initial training. Thematic analysis (Braun & Clarke, 2022) of the data generated one overarching theme: ESP was a journey of self-discovery, characterized by empowerment, diligent self-work, and a profound reconnection with the authentic erotic self. In relation to the experience of ESP itself, three further themes were generated. First, through being present in pleasure, orgasm imperatives were discarded and new pathways to pleasure discovered. Second, resistance was a natural part of the process of transformational learning, and third, ESP was a healing practice of self-love that enabled participants to address issues like porn overuse, arousal difficulties, and past trauma. This study underscores the importance of further research into ESP, particularly its potential therapeutic benefits for sexual and relational healing, extending beyond sexological bodyworkers to the broader public. Recognizing the inherent political nature of pleasure, ESP has the capacity to instigate positive societal change, one profound and delightful moment at a time.