The experiences of fathers of children with borderline personality disorder : a thesis presented in partial fulfilment of the requirements for the degree of Master of Science in Psychology at Massey University (distance), New Zealand

Abstract

Fathers of children with borderline personality disorder (BPD) represent an underexplored group within the mental health literature. While research has examined the experiences of mothers and families more broadly, little is known about how fathers make sense of their parenting roles and relationships within the complex relational landscape of BPD. This study thus sought to explore the lived experiences of fathers who have a child diagnosed with BPD. To answer the central research question of “what are the experiences of fathers of children with BPD?” I completed several semi-structured, in-depth video interviews with three fathers and then analysed the data using interpretative phenomenological analysis (IPA). The analysis identified four superordinate themes: Powerlessness and the Limits of Fatherhood; Commitment and Connection (or Lack Thereof); Coping with the Ongoing Burden; and Making Sense of BPD and Renarrating Fatherhood. Each superordinate theme had three subordinate themes, each of which pertained to a particular father’s experience in relation to the superordinate theme. Together, these themes illustrated that fatherhood in the context of BPD was marked by enduring love and commitment, yet also profound emotional strain and systemic exclusion for some of the fathers. Effective communication and resisting the urge to try to fix their children’s struggles emerged as processes facilitating relational repair and effective coping for some of the fathers. This research offers an account of fathers of children with BPD as active and reflective, challenging assumptions that position them as peripheral carers. The study underscores the need for family-inclusive mental health services that actively engage fathers, recognise their unique challenges, and support their role in fostering family resilience and recovery.